help - - anyone????

just a quick post. more to ask a question than to really talk about 'what's new in loni's world'!

all of you moms who have gone through the struggle of ttc - have any of you charted your bbt? if so, any suggestions? is it a big difference i am looking for or just a tenth of a point?? i'm new to this, but just thought i'd try something different.

i gladly welcome any suggestions or tips!

you can post on here or e-mail me at lonihodge23@gmail.com

also- while i'm here - -

i've recently been in contact with two moms - who are going through tough times in their pregnancies - being that they, too, have received the "your baby's condition is incompatible with life" spiel...

please join me in praying for brandon and stephanie hayes and their sweet girl - shelby grace - shelby grace was diagnosed with triploidy (same as maddie) - currently i think stephanie is 31 weeks??? anyway, she's due feb. 10th so she's made it really far!

next - is jenn - i don't know her last name but i know her daughter's name is josie kate - and josie has been diagnosed with trisomy 13 - she's due in Jan, i think - she's in her last trimester, i know... please keep these women and their babies and families in your prayers....

count your many blessings

this year thanksgiving means a lot more to me - not really sure why. i think it has something to do with the fact that i'm fully aware that loved ones can be gone in a flash and so can your dreams - so it's important to be thankful everyday for what blessings you do have.

there is an old hymn "count your blessings" - if you've never heard it the chorus goes like this

"count your many blessings

name them one by one

count your many blessings

see what God hath done"

have you ever really sat down and counted your blessings ONE by ONE??? well, neither have i, until now... so be patient, i have A LOT to be thankful for...

• God - my Savior and best friend - who loves me unconditionally
• justin, my wonderful, loving, supportive husband and other best friend!
• maddox elise - my beautiful angel baby - who taught me how to love deeper and trust God. without this little girl, my life is incomplete, but because i knew her, i have all i've ever wanted
• my mom and dad, who give me endless love and support and raised me to love God
• lori - a.k.a. mom #2 - (j/k) the best big sister who drives me crazy like none other, but thats why i love her
• lacy - crazy middle sister who can "spit out a rhyme" at the drop of a hat and makes the best 'chicken n' niggies' (hahaha - you'll have to ask her!)
• jennifer and doug (my in-laws) for providing me with a wonderful husband and love from another family
• brannon and jeb - brother in laws that gave me beautiful nieces and who take care of my sisters everyday
• emma, ella, ava, anna kate - 4 of the most precious little girls on earth - i love being their noni and they always make me smile
• mawmaw and papa - who teach me so much about life and food
• nana lamons - who frustrates me but has loved me all my life
• nana owens and mawmaw hodge - helping raise justin
• cole and trevor - justin's brothers - who are so very unique
• all my wonderful friends who pray for me, encourage me, lift me up, make me laugh, and let me cry my life wouldn't be the same without you

1. erin p
2. marianne d
3. lauren g
4. brittney a
5. susan f
6. abby n
7. rebecca h
8. bree m
9. kat d
10. jennifer s
11. stacey b
12. brina h
13. ashley m
14. leslie b
15. amanda w
16. kellie a
17. toni d
18. dee j
19. katie m
20. christa w
21. stephanie p
22. april t
23. lynn d
24. stacey g.

• my wonderfully comfortable home and the vehicles that provide transportation
• my cat sketch - who makes me laugh and keeps me company when i'm sad
• my dr, bill hudson, who calms my nerves and assures me i'm not crazy
• my job - with that i can provide for my family
• my church - where i can learn more about the God that loves me, worship my heart out, and fellowship with like-minded people!
• baby steps/amelia center - that we can remember the babies that we love and the a.c. because its a place where i don't feel judged
• crossfit- KICKBOXING - a way to get my anger/frustration out - therapy
• the opportunity i have to go back to school

as you can see - naming my blessings one by one takes some time and i'm sure i've forgotten someone or something - but just know that i am blessed beyond what i deserve - i love my life, i miss my daughter, and i praise Jesus who has given this all to me.

i hope this thanksgiving you take time to remember what all you are thankful for and take time to tell those you love, just how much they mean to you!

happy thanksgiving to all!!!!

let's get ready to rumble...

yep - boxing, well technically the class is called 'kickboxing' but either way IT IS A-MAZING. thankfully, i've become friends with an old college classmate who has introduced me to the awesomeness that is kickboxing. lauren and i both graduated from the same department at montevallo. even though we're the same age and finished high school at the same time, she graduated from UM the year before i did - that's what changing your major 3 times will do to you, it'll make you stay in college for 5 years!!! :) anyway - at UM i really didn't know anything about lauren and we didn't talk. luckily, we've recently started talking and found out that we have way more in common than we thought! lauren and her husband, jake, have been trying to get pregnant for a couple of years with no luck. jake is a fireman but he also owns part of, CrossFit, a gym that trains people for MMA (mixed martial arts) and stuff like that, well one of the instructors, chris, teaches a women only class of kickboxing and luckily lauren has agreed to be my partner and i don't know about her, but i have a BALL...every time i go i am able to unload so much pain and frustration through my arms and legs - it is very therapeutic. justin enjoys me going too, because when i go i'm less likely to take my frustrations out on him... : )

lauren - thank you for listening to me whine and complain, thank you for motivating me to work harder, and for being such an awesome new and encouraging friend...

here's a passage for us, lauren -
James 1:2-5
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

i'm praying for you daily -

oh and by the way, if you were wondering - those are really what my gloves look like!!! :)

that's what friends are for...

that's what i've been hearing a lot lately - "that's what friends are for..." and boy am i glad i have such great friends. friends that are full of love, support, and encouraging words.

it's sad that when you experience a real tragedy in your life you find out who your REAL friends are. its sad that not only do you have to experience the pain of the tragedy, but you have to suffer the loss of dear relationships in the process. i know that tragedies are NO fun and sometimes uncomfortable, but that is even more of a reason to step up and show support, because i'd be willing to bet that as uncomfortable as you (the friend) feel, the person who's living the tragedy feels worse.

anyway - enough about that, i'm just happy to say that God has blessed me with some of the best friends a girl could ask for. these people continue to be here for me nearly 9 months after the death of maddie - not just old friends but wonderful new friends that i've met since this horrible chapter started have continued to show support with prayers, visits, texts, emails, and hugs... it brightens my day when friends at work come by or ask to see you just so they can give you a hug...(those make my day) or friends shoot an email just to say "hey i'm thinking about you" so, again, thank you to all my friends new and old - i wouldn't be able to live without you. thank you for sharing maddie with me and rejoicing when i rejoice and crying when i cry. thank you for understanding that she's always in my heart and sometimes i just need to say her name or yell out in anger or hang my head and cry.

and if anyone is interested in tips on being a good friend - here's my 2 cents - take it for what it's worth. if you have a friend or even an acquaintance that is experiencing a tragedy or just a rough patch in their lives (loss, divorce, stress, unemployment, etc) - here are some things you can do to help -

• call/write/text/visit- just to say "hi, how are you"
• offer your services - dinner, errands, even your company
• let them know you love them - cause they may feel really lonely
• don't say too much, cause you don't want to say the 'wrong' thing
• let them cry on your shoulder
• let them yell at you - to get their anger/stress out

but the best most important thing you can do -

• just be there - you don't have to have the right words - just be honest "i don't know what to say, but just know i'm here for you" - TO me THAT means the MOST!

MIA (missing in action)

there was quite a while between posts on my blog. for that i apologize - i'm sure not many people noticed, except my mom!!

there really hasn't been anything to update other than the race. lets see since july 29, i started back to work. this year is going...every year there are problems and frustrations, but like my dad used to tell me "you'll find something you don't like about every job." i won't be negative nelly - there have been some positive changes this year so for that i am thankful. being that it's november now - my year has gone by fairly quickly - only 12 days until thanksgiving break, then 15 more and it'll be christmas break. praise the Lord!!

we've celebrated a LOT of birthdays - for the maddox/lamons families there are a ton of birthdays in the month of august....SO happy belated birthday to mom, brannon, uncle rick, brandye, lori, ava, emma, papa maddox, and happy belated anniversary to mom and dad! i probably forgot some people...i'm telling you we're busy the month of august...lacy and anna kate have birthdays in september and ella reid's birthday is in october!

other than that nothing else has been going on...really NOTHING. we've been ttc for 6 months now with no luck. that's frustrating. so when i say nothing has been happening i mean it.

meanwhile, i've found out several friends have had babies or found out they were expecting. i'm happy for them, i truly am, but its a constant reminder that our baby died and we didn't have a happy ending. grrrrrrrrrrrr what a vicious cycle.

okay - i guess that's enough for now...
keep praying for us....

and the final amount is...

through the first annual baby steps 5k memorial run we raised $9,000 for the amelia center! we were floored when we got the final amount and i think the amelia center was too! this picture is from our check presentation - we were all so proud.

that is andy mcneil with abby and me in the picture - he is the director at the amelia center. he gave us a couple of options for our donation and this is what we chose.

we decided to donate the funds into "Remembrance Funds" for braden, brody and maddox elise. this is something new that the amelia center is doing -

here's what their website says about the new opportunity -
"A Remembrance Fund, bearing the name of a family member or friend, can be established to provide annual support to The Amelia Center by making a memorial gift of $500.00 or more. This can be made as an individual memorial donation or a combined memorial donation by you, family members and friends. Once a Remembrance Fund is established, friends and family can make contributions throughout the year to support the fund. The Amelia Center will send annual updates to those supporting the fund regarding opportunities to contribute. At the end of each year, a portion of the Remembrance Fund will be used to support Amelia Center program costs, the remainder of the fund will be sustained to build upon for the next year. Remembrance Funds will be acknowledged in the Tears to Hope newsletter and by letter to family members and friends at your request. In addition, each fund will be recognized on the “We Remember Them…” wall in The Amelia Center lobby."


through these funds the amelia center can decide if they want to use part or all of the race donation before the end of the year. if they just use part then that allows them to carry over the remaining funds to the next year.

maddie's plaque will hang proudly in the lobby of the amelia center and her fund is open for donations year round. i'm very proud that our little girl is going help so many who go to the amelia center for help...

baby steps 5k 2009

the first annual baby steps 5k is now in the books! what an amazing day it was - just a quick run down, we had 388 registered participants, over 40 volunteers, and we raised a TON of money for the amelia center.

the day was beautiful and we couldn't have asked for nicer weather. hundreds of people came out with their families and it was such a nice day of rememberance.

braden, brody, and maddox sure left some big marks on this world. through their short sweet lives we were motivated to reach out to other moms and do something good. not only were our three angels represented at the race - several other angels were remembered too - erin, amelia, jonathan, levi, ella, hannah barrett,and many more!!

to our volunteers and donors - we couldn't have done it without you. all your help and support was priceless. thank you seems so inadequate - please know that your time and money helped make this race a success...

abby - it's long overdue, but THANK YOU...thank you for putting up with me through the planning..it was hard and stressful, but i'm glad you were there to help me! i couldn't have done it without you and i definitely wouldn't have wanted to - you ROCK! i can't wait for the 2nd annual race - i wonder how much we'll raise then?!?!?!

maddie - you were momma's motivation for this race - without you we wouldn't have been able to help so many people. i love you always and miss you daily...