happy birthday baby

it's been a while - but since my last post - maddie's first birthday has come and gone. february 19 2009 - is a day i'll always remember. maddie was born at 1:20p.m. that was when justin and i became parents, mom and dad, for the first time. this year justin and i both took the day off work just so we could spend the day remembering our girl.

i'll post more about her birthday later- we had some pictures made and sent up some balloons for maddie and all of her other angel friends. justin and i have been immensely blessed this past year and although the road was hard we've made it through and God has taught us new things about ourselves, our marriage, and our faith.

as much as i hate to hear - 'i told you so' - i sure deserve it....at the beginning of this nightmare i remember talking to some women and some professionals who told me that - although i couldn't see it now - things would get better, my days would get easier, and i would survive and make it through. i never could have imagined that the things i was hearing were true...

it's now been nearly 14 months since maddie was born and although i still live with a hole that can't be filled - i can still live. things will always be hard and she'll always be missed, but God has promised me that he has hope, plans, and a future for me. my life didn't stop when maddie died - it surely changed, but i've learned so much about God's promises for my life.

so, if you're going through something that you think will never end, just know that the pain will ease (not cease) and the tears will slow, and the memories will stay strong forever, but that there will be a day when you can truly smile again and honestly say that you are happy!

i promise there will be more to come about maddie's angelversary and what's been happening since february!